Playing Favorites
From News for Swim Parents
Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21 Ave., Suite 200
Fort Lauderdale FL 33309
By John Leonard
One day a few years ago, a club board member accused me of “having
favorites” on our club team. Several other parent board members nodded
their heads in agreement The implication was that this was a terrible
sin. When I was a younger coach, I thought it was terrible also. And he
was right. I did have favorites. My favorites were those athletes who
most fervently did what I asked of them. Those that did, I gave more
attention to. I talked to them more. I spent more time teaching them. I
also expected more of them.
The implication that he was making was that my favorites got better than
the others because they were my favorites, and that was somehow unfair.
He mistook cause for effect.
The fact is, that the athletes who came to me ready to learn, ready to
listen, ready to act on what they learned and try it my way -- even if
it was more challenging and more difficult than they imagined -- were
ready to get more out of our program. And they were my favorites.
As a coach, I have only one thing to offer to an athlete. That is, my
attention. Which means that I attend to their needs. The reward for good
behavior should be attention . . . attending to their needs. The
consequence of inattention, lack of effort, unwillingness or unreadiness
to learn or just plain offensive or disruptive behavior is my
inattention to that athlete.
How could it be other than this? If you have three children, and you
spend all of your time and energy working with the one that is badly
behaved, what does that tell your other two children? It tells them that
to capture your attention, they should behave badly. What we reward, is
what we get.
As a coach, I want athletes who are eager to learn, eager to experiment
to improve, and eager to work hard. I want athletes who come to me to
help develop their skills both mental and physical, and are willing to
accept what I have to offer. Otherwise, why have they come to me? And I
am going to reward that athlete with my attention. In so doing, I
encourage others to become like the athlete above. If I spent my time
with the unwilling, the slothful, the disruptive, I would only be
encouraging that behavior.
The link I want to forge is between attention and excellence. Excellence
in the sense of achieving all that is possible, and desired. My way of
forging that, is to provide my attention to those who “attend” to me.
This does, of course, result in increased performance for those that do
so. I am a professional coach, and when I pay attention to a person,
that person is going to improve. Over time, this makes it appear that my
“favorites” are the better swimmers. Not so at all. The better swimmers
are those that pay attention, and thus become my favorites.
What the above mentioned board member didn’t realize is that you must
have favorites if anyone is to develop in a positive fashion. The
coach’s job is to reward those who exhibit positive developmental
behaviors. Those are my “favorites,” and they should be.





